Ted and his wife were working in their garden one day when Ted looks over at his wife and says:

“Your b*tt is getting really big, I mean really big! I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.

”With that, he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife’s b0ttom.

“Yes, I was right, your b*tt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!! ”

The wife chooses to ignore her husband. 

Later that night in bed, Ted is feeling a little frisky.

He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. “What’s wrong?

” he asks. She answers, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-a$s grill for one little ween!e?