I had an abortion at almost 5 months, and I don’t regret it. It was the best decision

Abortion is a highly controversial topic, with some people believing that it is not a solution, while others argue that it can be the only solution.

One mother shared how she came to the decision to terminate her pregnancy, even though she had never been in favor of abortion as a choice.

“I have always been a person who believes in everyone’s right to choose,” she begins her story. “Abortion was never an option for me. Until the day I had to make that choice.

At 19 weeks, during a detailed check-up, we noticed an unusual silence during the ultrasound. I tried to convince myself it was just paranoia, but unfortunately, it wasn’t. We looked at the tiny heart beating, and we found out it was a girl. Both my husband and I were overjoyed.

However, the doctor told us that our little girl had skeletal dysplasia. My husband held my hand and smiled at me. Our daughter had dwarfism, but we were fine with that. It was something we could handle. I can’t say we weren’t shocked, but we believed everything would be okay. Then we heard the doctor say the word “lethal.” That’s when both my husband and I felt weak in the knees. Our little Violet wasn’t going to survive.

Children with dwarfism usually don’t look different on ultrasounds. The differences are usually noticed in the third trimester, and sometimes the diagnosis is made after birth. But the fact that Violet’s hands and feet were visibly shorter at just 19 weeks was the most significant sign of the severity of her condition.

Her condition continued to worsen as the pregnancy progressed, and if she survived until birth, her lungs would not function properly due to her bone structure. She wouldn’t have survived for more than a few hours on artificial ventilation.

We had two options: to have an abortion now or to carry the pregnancy to term, knowing we would have to watch her struggle and suffer after birth for a few hours. In reality, we had no choice to make. It would have been traumatic not only for us to see her grow in my womb but also for our other two children, who were expecting a sister whom they would have seen fade away. That’s how we ended up having an abortion.

No one thinks that there could be anything wrong with their child when they want to get pregnant. I found myself wishing more than anything that I could give birth to a child with dwarfism, but one who could survive. I considered it a blessing. We would have loved her just as much, and she would have been perfect for us. But I couldn’t bring her into this world just to suffer immensely in the few hours she would have lived.

Our family and friends supported us greatly. Many of our close ones, who were vehemently against abortion, told us we were doing the right thing, that there was no other option.

And indeed, there wasn’t. Watching our baby suffocate in just a few hours was not an option. We were not giving up on her because we didn’t want her as she was, as we would have loved her regardless. We still want her, but she wasn’t meant for this world. Despite this, there were many voices that blamed us for what we were about to do.

I was admitted to the hospital for two days. On the first day, I felt numb. There was nothing in the world that could console me. I cried the entire morning. When I was lying on the operating table, my husband put his head on my belly and said, ‘Daddy loves you, Violet!’ That’s when my heart completely shattered.

They gave me some anesthesia, then injected her heart to stop it from beating so I wouldn’t feel her moving anymore. I was unconscious for the rest of the day. The next day, I woke up in pain and felt empty in every sense of the word. After a few hours, the cramps turned into labor. Outside, there were people with signs, pictures of aborted babies, screaming and telling us what a crime we were committing. They didn’t know that I had already seen those images, that I knew what was happening to my baby, which is why I was in the state I was, almost unconscious.

When I entered the room, my water broke, and the procedure began immediately. I was no longer scared. Violet was already gone.

The last part was the worst nightmare. The nurses cleaned me up, and the doctor brought my baby for me to see. Her tiny face was traumatized from the procedure, and the doctor advised me not to look at it. I followed his advice, kept her face covered, but for ten minutes, I looked at her little feet and told myself that she was perfect.”

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